Watch this behaviour analyst serve up amusing ‘cultural observations’ on metalheads

There’s plenty of comedians on TikTok, but certainly none quite so unique as @meditationsfortheanxious, who runs a series titled Frankie’s Cultural Observations.

In each episode, the creator, who for some reason, calls himself a ‘narcissistic spirit guide’ (but we’ll just call him Frankie), lines up a row of strangers who identify as belonging to a various musical sub culture, and, taking each person aside, offers rather vacant ‘observations’ with a kind of faux David Attenborough-esque astuteness, on the way they behave, dress and operate.

The best thing about it however, is not only are his reflections amusing, but he serves them up with as much enthusiasm as someone who has just barely woken up from a deep, deep sleep, with each sentence uttered in a nonchalant, yet strangely informative manner; and it’s somehow very entertaining.

In one of his latest uploads, Frankie has analysed metalheads, and his takeaways are, as ever, peculiar yet comical (but of course, not to be taken too seriously!).

He begins: “Metalheads, a curious species that think they’re Vikings, but even though they don’t have the energy to conquer or colonise anymore, because they’re weighed down by their heavy battle-jackets, their dangling trouser-chains that get stuck in household objects, and their long hair that sticks in places it shouldn’t be, like other people’s eyes when headbanging in mosh-pits”.

Elsewhere, the mock-journalist reports on the average metalhead’s diet, noting: “Fast food is an alien concept to metalheads, they live off an exclusive diet of Korn, Lamb Of God, and fry screams”. Very funny.

Our favourite analysis has to be the one where he describes metalheads as the “cats of the music world”. 

“They seem like they have no concern for your wellbeing until you prove that you’re trustworthy”, he observes, “at which point you can feed the metalhead treats and snacks, like dead crows, and human remains. And if you proceed with caution, the metalhead may let you get a little bit closer and even let you stroke your hand through his hair, that he hasn’t washed since seeing Trivium eight years ago”.

Check it out below:

@meditationsfortheanxious
♬ original sound – Narcissistic spirit guide

Source: loudersound.com